Thu 3 Dec 2009
Escalation is Killing our Healthy Conflict in Agile
Recently, I wrote the post “Escalation is Killing Agile – Can We Please Stop It?” My passion around escalation brought 40+ in-depth comments. With my travels and lack of internet access, I had been unable to sit down, sift through, and absorb all the various perspectives. Until now.
I’m offering this follow-up post as a means to provide an overall response to all these great comments. I want to add some further background on the “escalation” topic and some more of my personal conviction around it. Specifically, I’d like to provide some insights into delayed feedback, the need for conflict, and how to “show up”, all without escalation.
In one part of the comment stream, I heard and felt the call for an effort to get to the root cause of such deep-rooted assumptions.
According to the Systems Thinking Toolbox from Pegasus Communications, to break an Escalation structure, ask the following questions:
- What is the relative measure that pits one party against the other and can you change it?
- What are the significant delays in the system that may distort the true nature of the threat?
- What are the deep-rooted assumptions that lie beneath the actions taken in response to the threat?
So, in our system of sharing information in the Agile community, we have to ask, “Are we setting up a dynamic that pits us against one another?” If this is true, then we have to ask, “How can this be addressed and still ensure that we share insights?”
Guided by Systems Thinking, that means we need to check in with: what is distorting our communications and what might our deep-rooted assumptions be that would have us act as we do?
Here is an example:
I created a delay in feedback by my not responding to posted comments. I believe that created assumptions around what I may or may not have intended in the post. I think some individuals thought I had written the post pointed specifically at them. Faster feedback would have helped quell that assumption.
I was writing about, and continue to write about, the Systems Thinking Escalation archetype and how I see it in our community. I was and am looking at a dynamic not at an individual. Escalation is NEVER about an individual; it is about the system in which blame is occurring and allowed to continue. I am fearful that blame and the win/lose game are in our system and that is what I do not like and I want to address.
Some of the comments to my post seemed to indicate that I was anti-conflict. Far from it! In studying the inner workings of high-performing teams, I have often referred to Sam Kaner’s model for participatory decision-making. Conflict is a must.
In this model, Kaner insists that, to get to high performance we must bring forth conflict to discover the best informed decisions. Divergent ideas must be invited. Divergent voices must be heard. Divergence must be allowed to just be. That is, don’t just jump to conclusions. With enough time and patience around divergence, we can then move toward informed convergence.
Conflict in this context is dialogue. It seeks insights. It invites greater and greater participation. I also want to emphasize that in this context of dialogue and non-escalation, our purpose is to engage in forward thinking. We let go and we look forward. And as we look forward, we let go.
So, as a member of the Agile community, my interest in expending energy in discussions is to seek insights, encourage divergence, and discover convergence as it emerges. All of these practices help and encourage me to create more and more forward thinking. If this is not occurring in our community, then we are not getting enough for the energies we expend. If in our community we really “must win” in order to “be heard”, we are stuck in an “Escalation” archetype. And, that means we are all trapped on an up escalator to nowhere.
What could any individual do to break an escalation pattern in a system? Create energy around your insights and share them without a need to apply win/lose stakes. Stop expending energy to refute others.
Here is a simple formula for bringing your viewpoint to bear without escalation:
- Show up. (Be willing to be engaged.)
- Find out what has meaning to you. (Be willing to be honest about your perspective.)
- Tell your truth. (Be articulate about your insight without attacking or assigning blame.)
- Let go of what happens. (Be courageous enough to allow others to agree or disagree.)
I believe this formula provides guidance on how to remain forward thinking, remain open-minded, and remain engaged.
I have some more mental models I want to offer here. But they will wait for another post.
Thank you in advance for your considerations, insights, and comments.
About the Author: Jean Tabaka is a wine enthusiast, author and Agile Fellow at Rally Software Development. Subscribe today to get free updates by email or RSS.


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Hi Jean, interesting post. I guess I am a little confused as to the “Systems Thinking Escalation Archetype” you refer to here. Can you give a concrete example of where in agile something has been escalated in a win/lose situation for another agile method?
And how does it being a win/lose method make it bad (I assume you think this, after saying you are tired of it)? Could the win/lose process be healthy?
I like your point of “bringing your viewpoint to bear without escalation”. I tend to let go just see where my controversial statments might go. Of course I have not offered many.
Thanks for the thought provoking post.
Hi Eric,
Thanks for your query. Check out Ryan Martens comment on his perspective on the Escalation archetype. Then scroll down and check out Regina Mullen’s amazing comment about mediating in the Agile community and what she is seeing as some interesting behaviors.
It really does come down to having something deep within us needing to be right versus deeply wanting to gather insights and create a new set of insights. This goes back to my little 4 -step program of having an insight and presenting it for others to absorb. That’s it. You can’t force people to agree with you, especially not adults. That’s not your job and it’s not their job. :-)
Thanks, Jean
I always look at escalation as a natural dynamic in the finite game of win/lose with a focus on getting the largest share of the pie.
The other game is the infinite game that is focused on creating win/win with a focus on growing the pie.
The agile community has a potential to grow the pie of software development community by making it a more valuable, rewarding, fun, joyful and humane profession. The honesty and respect required for high performance agility is the answer for teams and the community.
Let’s hear your points of view. I want to understand and dialogue to find a higher ground!
I have written about my point of view on methods in our blog – http://www.rallydev.com/agileblog/2009/06/agile-and-lean-software-development-an-oxymoron/
Please share your constructive points of view!
Thanks Ryan,’
I love that you keep going for the win/win. And yes, that is the exact opposite of the Escalation archetype. When there is a dynamic of win/lose in a discussion, I am very fearful that we ultimately devolve into a lose/lose stance and ossify. Then not only does no-one win in the discussion, but we can’t get unstuck long enough to move to productivity in other areas. Now everyone really loses big time.
It can be pretty insidious. Again, thanks for reminding us that there really are positive archetypes like win/win!
Jean
Thanks for this, Jean.
As a mediator, I’ve served on quite a few cases involving technical people, so here are some thoughts…hopefully they’re useful ideas.
Conflict resolution with technical folks is deeply challenging work, particularly because technical workplaces thrive on skepticism and often embrace the idea that being “right” is more important than being “civil.” An appeal to empathy [a standard in the mediator toolkit] just doesn’t get you very far in these situations.
What we saw, particularly in Seattle, is that people who are accustomed to being “right” for a living (of course, doctors and lawyers are the same) are less likely to try to find a mutually satisfactory solution.
Note, I didn’t say “compromise.” In my view, the Nash/games theory-based “win-win” approach fails people in conflict in many ways.
In my view, conflict is good, it is a requirement for growth. However, the assumption that you can get what you give is usually just not true for real people, as good as it sounds on paper. Where many dispute resolution techniques fail is in encouraging people to give up ideas or things that they need out of guilt or some other negative motivation.
So, when dealing with people for whom “rightness” goes to the core of who they are, it can be difficult to unpack a dispute. As master mediator Kenneth Cloke says, one has to be capable of “mediating dangerously.” It’s not for the faint of heart.
In my view, the mediator’s role is never to solve the problem, but to create a safe environment where the parties can breathe and release their (often) death grip on their reality long enough to allow for the possibility of de-escalation.
This is not a fast process, because the neutral has to break through the “presenting dispute” to get to the real issue [ he ate the last piece of cake and I've never forgiven him ] and then bring it back around to a working plan forward.
Given the number of technical folks in Seattle, it was a common issue. At one point, I thought to offer services to a large software company in the area, but a senior mediator told me to steer clear because the corporate culture was so toxic, it would make my hair fall out.
While there are some issues that relate to the stereotypical introvert,–meeting people where they are is critical.
So, for example, if one person is highly-fixated on detail [ "We started this session at 4:02, not 4:00 because Geoff was LATE and not respectful of my time!" ], the mediator loses trust by not acknowledging that this is a valid point, while gently moving the person so fixated past that point.
In addition, as we know from the work of Rene-Marc Mangin, mediators must also take into account how people process information. This is something I think the Agile crowd gets really well, but when there is conflict it’s even more important.
As a new-comer to the Agile community, I AM struck by the number of people who are so right that they come across as wrong. It doesn’t bother me, but I note it. It manifests as something akin to tribalism…a real problem when the basis for the community is a desire to consciously engage around the edges of complexity. Maybe the difference is that this willingness simply does not extend much beyond “the code”…
While most disputes can and should be resolved at team level, I do NOT recommend that people without training try to mediate serious disputes: call in a tech savvy neutral. Delegate that piece, so that the team can safely vent and then begin the hard work of creating a forward plan that will work for them.
I would love to engage with anyone interested in dispute resolution in the tech community, and I am following you on Twitter, so I’ll stay engaged around this topic, as best I can.
Thanks for putting up with this long comment! :o))
Regina,
This is such a wonderful commentary. Thank you so much for taking the time to post your perspectives. We have a great opportunity in the Agile community to learn from you about how we engage our passions. I love your observation that this Escalation dynamic may be in the Agile system if “the basis for the community is a desire to consciously engage around the edges of complexity.”
I want that engagement and I want that dancing on the edges of complexity. I just also want to hold myself personally accountable for how I engage. And, I respectfully ask others in our community to dance in healthy conflict as well.
This was great. Thanks!
Jean
[...] That’s why I felt moved to leave the following LONG (…) comment on the Agile Blog. [...]
“Can you give a concrete example of where in agile something has been escalated in a win/lose situation for another agile method?”
I don’t mean to try and speak for Jean, but I think she may be alluding to the ongoing food-fight between proponents of Scrum and proponents of Kanban software development. I’ve been thinking about that conflict recently as well, and wrote about it here, FWIW: http://www.davenicolette.net/agile/index.blog/1970014/godzilla-vs-megalon-or-scrum-vs-kanban/
Thanks Dave for the examples.
As the kid in “The Sixth Sense” movie says, “I see dead people everywhere.” Read through Regina Mullen’s comment and see what resonates for you about how we may be engaging non-usefully in Agile. Whether it is about how you adopt Agile, what the “right” practices are, or who you are listening to, you may hear some rhetoric that pushes you up against a wall. When, like the “dead people everywhere”, we have this rhetoric expand and multiply, that is escalation, and that is a systemic dynamic.
So now I’ll give an example not in our Agile community. Think about whatever significant relationships you have in your life. Pick one person in particular to whom you are very close. And imagine this person with whom you are deeply connected saying to you, “If you REALLY loved me, you wouldn’t think the way you do.” What!!?!?! Yup, those exact words have been said to me. And, yup, that is a lose/lose situation even though the other person was going for the win.
Sigh,
Jean
I’m reading this post without the context around it but find it helpful in my situation. I’ve just come back to my team after 6 months working elsewhere. I have tons of new ideas for experiments I’d like my team to try. Of course they are not just going to agree to everything I suggest. It’s good to know that I should welcome conflict and not feel I have to “win”. In fact, I respect my team all the more for being thoughtful and forthcoming with their own ideas. I feel this is the best course for moving forward. Thanks, Jean!
Lisa,
It is so cool that you see your enthusiasm as a potential threat to the team despite your wanting to use it as a gift for the team. I think allowing all voices in the room and divergence can build trust around trying new/different practices. It is much better than telling people that they must agree with you especially since you know you are right :-)
Jean
I always feel like our projects are bound to have escalations. In traditional project management, escalation is a formal process and can be part of the project management plan. Moreover, I found people escalate more often without following this process.
In the agile world, where every one required for the project should be part of the team, I found escalation still happens.
Dr. Deming has a point called “Drive out fear” that he incorporated into his 14 management points when he has returned back home from Japan. I think we escalate because of fear. Another point he added also was “Respect to people”. He said in Japan a junior engineer can stop the line and management trust her that she is doing the right thing. From my view, this action is combination of respect and no fear. Such actions come from people who continuously think of ideas for improvement and have sense of urgency. They work within a system that not only protect them, but trust them!
By not understanding these two points we are bound to escalate. Sometimes a manager may feel pride when he receives escalations. It increases his sense of security. We escalate to survive. We escalate because of lack of respect to other people. Even if it’s winning, it is very short term. Then, the project probably starts its death march.
To mitigate escalation, I think the project team should under-go training on the process (Scrum, Agile, XP…). The process should not be tweaked as this can form a bias that can increase the intensity of conflict and lead to escalations. The rules of engagement of the team members and appreciation of the interactions as required by the process can help to acknowledge each other more.
Wow ! What a great comment from Regina !
One thing I found particularly interesting is your comment…
What we saw, …, is that people who are accustomed to being “right” for a living … are less likely to try to find a mutually satisfactory solution.
Asking one of “those people” might elicit the response… “I’m not good at stroking people’s egos.” :-(
What I think that means is, “I don’t think it is right to compromise on a solution in order to stroke someone’s ego, especially if think they didn’t contribute significantly to the solution.”.